Whodunit?

It’s tough being a Republican in Congress these days. You have to fork over your backbone to prove allegiance to a narcissistic, disloyal, habitual liar surrounded by sycophants and incompetents. You never know what you’ll be asked to say or defend.

For example, first they needed to deny that Trump contributed to a bawdy birthday book for convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. “A fake story,” claimed Trump. As we learned Monday, it’s fake in the sense that it’s for real.

So the White House now claims that Trump didn’t sign the letter signed by Trump. It’s a “hoax,” according to the press secretary Karoline Leavitt, taking time out from looking for the soul she lost upon joining the White House staff.

Which begs the question, if Trump, who definitely signed the letter, didn’t sign the letter, who did? Most GOP members of Congress aren’t saying yet. They need guidance from the White House on something with this magnitude of obvious obfuscation. And given the situation, the Administration needs to designate a culprit soon. Whodunit is my effort to help them out.

I thought of suggesting the Biden family. However, they are the White House’s go-to distraction. But they need something new and different for a scandal this old and common in the Trump world. To achieve the level of distraction they need, they’ll have to come up with something that defies logic, reality and reason. So I suggest they go all in. Meaning Colonel Mustard in the library with an autopen it is.

sketchier