WMDs 2026

It used to be that presidents had to convince the country and the world that madmen like Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction that were, you know, destructive. Biological weapons. Nuclear weapons. It may not have been true, but at least the definition of WMDs was widely accepted.

Of course, there was also a time when presidents refrained from siccing the Department of Justice on former FBI Directors who had the audacity to take a picture of seashells on the seashore. But then, Trump really hates Jim Comey. (Ironic, given that if Comey hadn’t messed with the 2016 election there probably wouldn’t be a President Trump).

That was then, this is, unfortunately, now. His administration is treating seashells as deadly weapons. And you know who has a lot of seashells? Well, yes, Florida, but that’s America’s stockpile of seashells. No, as WMDs 2026 makes clear, the danger comes from French Polynesia. Of course, there are others, too. Australia, Mexico, the Bahamas; seashell proliferation is widespread. But we have to start somewhere. And I think putting “French Polynesia” and “blockade” in a sentence is hilarious. But then, that’s just me.

sketchier

P.S. Andy Borowitz and his The Borowitz Report is a national treasure. If you don’t subscribe to his Substack you should. He had a post yesterday entitled “Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Seashells” that sparked the idea for this strip. While I approached the “seashells are dangerous” theme differently, I wanted to acknowledge the source. Now go and subscribe to his Substack. You can thank me later.